i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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