I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize