We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
