do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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