I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
