I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
