Its about making memories worth repressing
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
