it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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