maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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