i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
try to milk me bitch
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
