she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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