I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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