she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
