I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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