PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
