i just had sex bonerless
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
