You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
