My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
