WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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