Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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