I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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