worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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