HIV tests are more positive than that guy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
