North Korea, Best Korea!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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