beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize