You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
