i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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