he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
