just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
