then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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