What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
