She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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