we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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