he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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