Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
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