I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
