Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
