we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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