Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
