just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
