he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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