At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
