I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
