It's Friday. Sex?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
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