why didn't you poke me back
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
