i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
