there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize