that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
