whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
