He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
