Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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