I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
