i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
