Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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