I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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