It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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