I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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