I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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