I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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